This is why New England is the most annoying place to live. There are flowers finally sprouting after the gruesome winter, and yet today on this “spring” day there are flurries corrupting the life of the naive believers of warm weather. New England weather is so unpredictable and makes finding appropriate attire nearly impossible.
Susie tries out her Easter dress in the middle of a New England, United States spring.
And of course, now that I’ve completed this post, the sun is out and shining.
a.k.a Tag Sale!
It is about time for everyone to begin Spring cleaning! This means people are going to be getting rid of clutter in hopes to make a little money too, and as you drive around the neighborhoods of New England on weekends, you might see signs for “tag sales.” If you haven’t already been able to gather from the introduction to this post, tag sales are the same as garage sales or yard sales. Many New Englanders are actually unfamiliar with the terms “garage sale” and “yard sale,” and I have yet to figure out where “tag sale” came from. However, they are exactly the same concept – tag sale hunters can scan the driveway for treasured books, toy, knick-knacks, clothes, games, sports equipment, etc. and usually bargain a price with the owner for a mutual benefit. Don’t forget, the early bird gets the worm!
Your local packy!
You might notice that the farther north you head along the East coast, people will start mentioning that they need to make a “packy run.” The packy is an abbreviation for Package Store a.k.a. the Liquor Store. Every states’ alcohol laws vary, but New England has a few strange ones that drinking visitors are usually not happy to hear about.
Connecticut is perhaps the strictest New England state in terms of alcohol. Definitely plan ahead for the Super Bowl, because packys in Connecticut are closed on Sundays. This state has had some of the harshest blue laws in the country since the founding of the puritanical theological colony of New Haven in 1638. Blue laws were created to enforce religious standards, particularly the observance of Sunday as a day of worship or rest, and a restriction on Sunday shopping. Most have been repealed and declared unconstitutional, or are simply unenforced, although prohibitions on the sale of alcoholic beverages on Sundays are still enforced in many areas – like Connecticut! Hunting on Sundays is also illegal.
Connecticut is one of only three states that enforce the blue laws. Also, Connecticut packys are only open until 9 p.m. Mon.-Sat. So, stock up early and plan on spending Sunday nights in Massachusetts.
Massachusetts laws are slightly more lenient as packys are open until 11 p.m. as well as on Sundays. There are a few bummers about the drinking laws in this state. There are no “Happy Hours” or other limited-time discounts on alcoholic beverages and no fixed price open bar/all-you-can-drink specials in public places.
Rhode Island packys are open until 10 p.m., but also have shortened hours on Sundays and are only open from noon-6 p.m. Also, all alcohol is only sold in packys. Thus, convenience stores and supermarkets in Rhode Island are dry – unlike the other states where at least beer is usually sold.
Vermont doesn’t seem to have too much to worry about in terms of alcohol. There are a couple rules about the ABV content in beer and wine that can sold in supermarkets, but packys are open until midnight every night of the week.
New Hampshire is great because there are no sales taxes on alcohol! Also, the state is a wholesaler of wine and packys are open until 11:45 p.m. – an odd time but better than 9 p.m.!
Lastly, Maine’s packy hours go until 1 a.m. every night of the week. Another great thing about Maine is that many grocery stores are licensed as state liquor store substations and sell spirits which is pretty unique.
Bottoms up!
What could easily be mistaken for a neighborhood kitty, is actually a deadly and ferocious beast and is known in parts of New England as a fisher cat. These feline-like terrifying things are known to live in woodsy areas and prey on domesticated animals as well as rabbits, squirrels, mice, porcupines (what?!) and other unsuspecting creatures. Fishers are also known to eat geese and turkeys, as well as the eggs and young of these birds that make easy targets.
They look cute, but could kill your dog.
They are agile in trees and have slender bodies that allow them to pursue prey in all sorts of natural settings. The crazy thing is, they deceivingly look like house cats! However, they are surprisingly not related to the feline family, but rather are members of the weasel family.
Luckily I have never personally encountered a fisher cat, because they are usually nocturnal, however I have unfortunately experienced hearing their screams right outside my window. They sound like what I can imagine a zombie sounds like – blood curdling and ear piercing. The scariest thing I have learned about them is that they are apparently known for one of their calls, which has been said to sound like a child screaming and can be mistaken for someone in dire need of help. Where did these killer kitties come from?!
According to FisherCatScreech.com, “these animals were displaced and their numbers dwindled many years ago, when the farmers cleared the forests and surrounding areas for agriculture. Fishers who are susceptible to trapping and logging were badly affected during this time and were forced to move out into other neighboring areas such as scattered locations in Pennsylvania, New York, West Virginia, and Virginia. However due to their departure from the aforementioned area, the porcupine population started swelling; and in order to control this menace, the people of New England re-introduced the fishers to curb the porcupine numbers.”
Despite its name, fisher cats seldom eat fish. According to wikipedia, the name may originate from the French word fichet, referring to the pelt of a European polecat.
Although some zoologists speculate that fishers actually prey on domesticated animals often, there was a beagle in Southbury, Conn. that was torn to shreds by a fisher last year according to Katherine Shaw, a junior at Pomeraug High School in Southbury.
Young women who attend school in New England have practically a mandatory daytime attire for going to classes, running errands, etc during the colder seasons. Uggs boots, a North Face fleece and a LongChamp bag is a very typical outfit for a New England gal. Although this is the norm for cold or chilly days, it really is not the smartest garb to be dressed in to be protected from the weather.
Not waterproof or sturdy, but worn everyday!
Uggs are not waterproof, and although they can be sprayed with anti-water stuff, they are really not supposed to be worn in the rain or snow. Still, New England girls swear by them and continue to wear them day-after-day despite the constant rain and snow. And although it is many people’s belief that they are not the most attractive of footwear, they are comfy – despite the fact that they run big and are somewhat difficult to walk in. Uggs often cause girls to shuffle their feet while walking to keep the floppy shoes on.
The year-round, all-weather magical fleece
North Face brand is fantastic and makes super cozy fleeces to keep people warm and toasty. The only issue with The “It” Girls wearing these North Face fleeces is that they wear them almost year-round. A thin layer of fleece is not a sufficient cover from the biting winds and blizzards, however many girls insist on keeping up appearances and wearing them to avoid the dreaded parka-look!
I can also guarantee that if you gather 10 New England young women, at least four of them will be sporting a LongChamp bag.
LongChamp foreva!
The next time you’re in New England on a cold day and hear someone shuffling their feet and shivering behind you, I can guarantee it will be the New England “It” girl.
A meatball sub sounds sounds delicious right about now, to anyone living south of Conn. A meatball grinder doesn’t sound appetizing at all unless you’re making bolognese sauce for your spaghetti and need help mashing up the meatballs. However, a meatball ‘grinder’ is actually the same thing to New Englanders as a meatball ‘sub’ to Southerners, but why the discrepancy? Of course, people of different parts of the country have different names for sandwiches, such as hoagies heroes or po’ boys but if you don’t know what a grinder is when you’re in a New England sandwich shop, you’re going to have difficulty ordering lunch.
According to Yahoo! user jupyter_flew (who says they grew up in Conn.) on the Yahoo!Answers Web site, “the perfect grinder is made with a crusty bread. Meat is a soft salami, Provolone cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, onion, olive oil, salt, pepper, red pepper, and a little oregano. Absolutely NO mayonnaise. In parts of New England, especially Conn., this is referred to as a ‘regular grinder.’ Regular being the salami meat. The important part here is the bread – it can’t be that soft crap like from Subway.”
Another tid-bit I learned about the tasty sandwiches with strange names is that the name “grinder” originates from the Italian immigrants who sold these sandwiches to the boat dock workers. The workers were called “grinders” by the Italians. I wasn’t aware that the term had an Italian starting point, and although I find it annoying that New Englanders have to have their own term for a sandwich, I can’t deny that the crusty bread and hard salami that have supposedly famed these grinders are worth the historical name-change.
As someone who moved here from the South, I was definitely unprepared for the New England winters. New England’s beautiful rolling hills, mountains and jagged coastlines are unfortunately a consequence of retreating ice sheets from prehistoric times, and during the winters most of New England becomes a giant ice sheet. I’ve lived here for four years now and have still not figured out the winters. Although it undeniably has something to do with global warming; it will be 45 degrees and sunny one day, and a painful blizzard the next.
Regardless, you can bet that winter in New England will bring some bright, brittle mornings and evenings with temperatures well below zero with a bitter wind snapping at the frozen branches of the spruce trees. I still have not found an appropriate, comfortable and equally attractive pair of winter boots (mostly because of how ugly they are and my vanity), or a really practical coat (or the dreaded parka). One of these days I will have to give in and sacrifice my trendy good looks for comfort and health, but maybe I’ll wait until I’m done with school for that.
Here are some tips I have discovered on surviving a New England winter that helped me and will hopefully help you:
1.) Layer – get used to the pit stains, but wearing lots of layers is a proven way to stay warmer during the winter.
2.) Insulate – People can benefit from insulation in our homes, jackets and, easily forgotten, our hats. Up to 50% of heat loss can be from an uncovered head.
3.) Stay hydrated – in cold weather you lose a lot of fluid just inhaling dry cold air and exhaling warm moist air. Drinking lots of the right liquids is important. Caffeine is not really good for you in cold weather. Alcohol is technically a no-no since it is dehydrating, however ask any college kid about the benefits of a drunk jacket on a freezing Saturday night. Pregaming the cold is a quick fix as long as used responsibly.
4.) Use public transportation – when it is snowing or has just snowed, consider taking the bus. Driving in the snow is a hassle. You have to warm up the car, sweep the snow off the car, then scrape ice off it every time you want to go somewhere. Contrast that with just stepping onto a bus that’s already warm, and that’s driven by someone with considerably more snow driving experience than you. And it’s more eco friendly!
Thanks to the stupid groundhog we have a lovely six more weeks of winter. Stay warm!
The Southerner's Guide to New England 
